Are You a Mom-ster?

Today I’m THRILLED to be sharing a guest post from my wife that was recently published in Good News Christian Magazine. It’s great for all you moms who sometimes get overwhelmed with your kids.

momster

“Your kids don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”

-Jim Henson

 

In preparation for my new teaching position at a local elementary school, I was recently reading a professional education book. In it, I stumbled across a behavior management strategy that discussed the importance of smiling and using “please” & “thank you” so students don’t feel threatened by correction. The book argued that the use of such kindness would help me obtain the desired response in students’ behavior. To be honest,  I was QUITE skeptical. I am a mom.  Why would I approach a misbehaving child with a smile?  Nonetheless, I thought I would test this theory on my own children at bedtime.

My eight year old son, Jake, is fast. He can ask questions faster than I can answer, disappear out of the house to play with friends in the blink of an eye, and change his clothes at the speed of light.  But at bedtime the child is slow as molasses. (Don’t tell anyone I said this, but he gets it from his father’s side of the family. ) My  six year old daughter, Abby, who is very sly and quick-witted, likes to engage us in a never-ending story at bedtime that we never see coming.  My other six year old daughter, Alli, (yep, twins!) is the funniest person on earth.  She especially thinks this is true.  I think you see our bedtime dilemmas. 

So, I walked into the at room at bedtime with a warm smile on my face. While the approach was quite effective, I was met with extreme confusion by my children. Looks of bewilderment filled their faces.  Then the questions started…         

            Why are you so happy?

 Why do you keep smiling?

Do you have a secret?

 Seriously, Mommy, why are you so happy?

            Did you just have a really good day?

 You are NEVER this happy at the end of the day!

 You are being so super nice to us!

At first, I found this to be kind of funny, as did my husband. But as I began to reflect, I realized how awful I must seem to my children. I saw myself through their eyes, and I saw a “Momster!”  I didn’t like her at all.  Then my own questions began…

Why am I not happy at the end of the day?  (I get to sleep in a loving home with a wonderful family.  I am truly blessed!)

Why am I so much kinder to strangers than I am to my kids?

Why do I try everything in the world to make students in my classroom feel safe and loved, but don’t always show that same respect to my own children?

I didn’t have answers to any of these questions.  I went to bed in tears feeling like the worst mother in the world. 

I spoke to many of my mom friends about this and most of them said the same thing: ”We’re moms. We get tired and frustrated.”  Okay, so we all sometimes treat our children as second class citizens, but does that make it okay? Not to me. Right then I made a vow to myself. I would kill my Momster—or at least keep it at bay. I would work to keep my voice level down, to make sure my children saw a smile on my face more often than a frown, and to ensure they know that this is a safe, loving home where they can feel secure.

I think many of us strive to be that Proverbs 31 woman at church, at work, in public, and with our husbands (well, maybe with our husbands).  But somehow, over the course of this thing we call “motherhood” we easily forget verse 28 of that Proverbs chapter: “Her children rise and call her blessed.”

Would your children make special effort to arise and speak fondly of you?  Last week, I am not sure that mine would have.  It is my prayer that now, and forevermore, they will.

You can check out the published article here on page 18.

Here’s a few more related articles:
Theology by Nightlight
What’s My Line?
For Love of the Game
Spiritual Mentors vs. Spiritual Mothers

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