In my last post, I discussed the loss of a friend. If you haven’t read it yet, you can read about it here. I’ve wondered how to follow up such a serious and emotional post. I’m dry, witty, and sarcastic by nature, but unfortunately sometimes my humorous ways don’t feel all that appropriate. (Although, I often still try, much to my wife’s dread. Tune in next week for the return of sarcasm! See, I just did it right there.) I spent this whole week trying to help my friends in any way possible as they planned a major, city-wide funeral. And in the midst of that, we lost another friend, who’d been struggling with cancer for some time. We spent our entire day yesterday, (from 9-9) attending funerals. And amid all the death and tragedy, I realized, or was reminded of, how important relationships are.
When one friend with three young children lost her husband in a car crash, the only thing she asked was for her friends to be there when she needed them. She didn’t ask for money, or clothes, or stuff—she didn’t ask for presents, she asked for presence. She needed her friends. She needed relationships. And we tried to be there for our friends in any and every way possible in their time of need.
In the second funeral, we visited with friends who had recently parted paths with us. From time-to-time, life unexpectedly, and undesirably, leads us down different roads. Relationships strain, and sometimes, they even end. But here at this funeral, we saw many we were once so close with, and it felt good. We’ve always loved these people, and we always will, even though our lives are not as intertwined now as they once were.
And at each funeral, we heard stories. Not stories of how much money was left in a bank account. Not stories of the major tasks that had been achieved. Rather, the stories were about how much each life had touched another; how much each life had been affected by another. And it was all based on relationships. Jesus recognized this, and he built his disciples through continual relationship with them, as they learned not only from his teaching, but from his life. In fact, discipleship is relationship. Relationships aren’t THE thing; relationships are EVERYTHING.
I think sometimes our relationships get pushed into the background as we seek to achieve. We have goals, wishes, dreams, and desires. And because of the “American Dream,” these goals are often about stuff, glory, fame, money, power, ________________________ (fill in the blank). At other times, relationships get pushed away by disagreements. And at still other moments, relationships die because they are simply overlooked. But, what’s truly important in life is how we interact with those around us; how we help, how we speak, how we love, and even… how we hate. All these things are what will be remembered when we’re gone.
So, as I’ve pondered this week, I ask you to ponder: “How important are the relationships in your life?” Or, the more pertinent question: “How will you be remembered?”
Rest assured it sure won’t be based on your achievements.
